Acknowledging it is ALL A LIE

I'm to the part where I'm actually acknowledging that everything that I can possibly think is untrue, based on a false foundation. When I say that I'm "acknowledging" it, I am transitioning from intellectualizing it as a possibility and I am assimilating it into my personal paradigm. Rather, since this will ultimately destroy my entire personal paradigm, I'm replacing my entire paradigm with this one concept.

Initially, once I chose to accept the concept it was quite easy to implement. Reject everything. Anything that anyone could say or that I could read, hear, or think would be false. For the time being, allow the destructive techniques to remain as they allowed me to find concepts that had remained hidden until looked at from another, more oblique angle. But eventually even those tools would have to fall to the prime directive of "Everything is false, nothing is true."

I said initially it was quite easy, and I realized that I'm still very much in the initial phase. But as I dig deeper into the more basic, fundamental concepts, it is harder and harder to reject them.

For example, it was easy for me to give up angels, spirits, and ETs. Not that I don't think there is life on other planets within this construct of reality, it's just that I don't believe that this construct of reality IS real. Therefore, no real universe, no real planets for the ETs to really exist on, poof, they are gone to me. Angels and disassociated spirits have always been external to me and I have not given them much reality in my universe anyhow, so, poof, without much thought, they, too were gone.

Mind you, not that none of this isn't real within the context of this universe and the dimensons that individual choose to perceive beyond this one. They all seem to work fine, all the explanations as to why they must exist are seemingly logical and rational (at least as far along as I'm willing to invest my brainpower to investigate.) I'm not denying that there isn't something like ESP in this world, in this reality. What I am denying is THIS REALITY, and in doing so, the rest of it is null and void as well.

But I was talking with Rich Belsky about the concepts of souls. At least for now, he has an affinity for the concept of a soul, that there is some thread that binds our individual incarnations together from lifetime to lifetime. This concept is what allows us to utilize the concept of karma. After all, if there is no soul connecting our past and future lives together, how would karma from a past life be a player?

As I understand it, when I look inward, I will find a void. A total emptiness of self. As I also currently understand it, according to general and basic non-dualism (which I will also have to drop during this massacre of ideas and thought), EVERYTHING, manifested (in this universe) and unmanifested, is contained in the one Source/God/Whathaveyou. Even when you condense it down into the tiniest speck, like how the scientists paint a picture of the beginning of the Big Bang, there is still something there. Likely not physically, but there is still the Source, the Divine Consciousness, the creator of it all. So if the Divinity is within me, and the Source is at the center of me, and when I look inward to the core I find nothing, and if everything is FALSE, then what of the Source itself. Is it not Consciousness? Is that not something? Is that NOT nothing?

So I find myself stuck at the paradox between the Void that I will find at the center of my Self and the fact that I am Divinity and the Source of EVERYTHING, even if that source is Pure Awareness and nothing else, it is still SOMETHING not NOTHING.

Rich hung in there with all of my rambling and paradoxical pondering. It was beautiful having someone there who had challenging questions that I could not answer, questions that had me questioning the idea that everything is False. I'm still operating under that idea, but Rich was very helpful in uncovering concepts that were not so easily torn apart by the everything is false approach.

When we ended our time together we discussed the idea of attacking the concept "Everything is false, nothing is true" with the "Everything is false" sword. That's a paradox that I'll probably be working with today.